zanzjan: (manuscript)
[personal profile] zanzjan
A summary:
* Home computer is attached to the internet via dialup, because that's all that's available where I live.
* Work computer has a nice spiffy fast internet connection.
* When installing Adobe Acrobat Pro at home, whatever massive wad of useless bloat the license activation feature wants to send to Adobe won't fit down a dialup connection.
* So Acrobat offers an offline activation feature.
* You enter your serial number, and it generates a Request Code.
* It then presents you with a box to either enter a Response Code, or click "Activate Later"
* You then take that Request Code to an internet-enable computer, go to the Adobe website, enter it and your serial number again, and you get a Response Code.
* You then go back to your internetless computer and enter the Response Code.
* This should be easy, right? There should be an "Activate my License" menu item, or a popup on launch, or something, right?

NO.

So I went to Adobe Online Chat, and entered as my problem that I need to know how to launch the offline activation window to enter my Response Code. I was expecting a two-minute conversation that would consist of something like "Click File --> Preferences --> Some Inobvious Category --> License Activation"

That's not how it went.

Here is the entire transcript:

Chat start time Jun 17, 2015 10:44:41 AM PST
Chat end time Jun 17, 2015 12:45:02 PM PST
Duration (actual chatting time) 02:00:21
Operator Agent2
Chat Transcript
info: Thank you for your patience.

While you wait, you can try our community forums where experts are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
info: We are still assisting other customers, thank you for your patience. You can also try our community forums, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

info: You are now chatting with Agent1.

Agent1: Hello! Welcome to Adobe Customer Service.
Zanzjan: hi!
info: Your chat transcript will be sent to [email] at the end of your chat.
Agent1: May i know the serial number of this product
Zanzjan: It's not attached to my account? I don't have it in front of me
Zanzjan: I have already generated my response code, I just need to know how to enter it
Agent1: May i know the response code
Zanzjan: [code]
Agent1: May i know the serial number also
Zanzjan: Again: I do not have the serial number in front of me.
Zanzjan: I just need to know HOW to enter the Response Code.
Zanzjan: It should be a simple thing.
Agent1: We can tell you without serial number
Zanzjan: yay!
Agent1: I am not able to track from this response code
Zanzjan: That's fine, it shouldn't matter. Just tell me what menu item leads me to the box where I type in the response code.
Agent1: May i know you must be entering some serial number to download this product
Zanzjan: I am not trying to download a product
Zanzjan: I am trying to REGISTER my already-installed product
Zanzjan: which is installed on a system which is perfectly fine, but connects to the world through dialup internet
Zanzjan: and apparently your website wants to do a very simple thing like registering a product with so much bandwidth overhead it won't work
Zanzjan: So: I went through your procedure to generate a response code for an "offline" system
Zanzjan: I have the response code
Zanzjan: I need to know HOW TO ENTER IT.
Agent1: Once you have the response code you will find the Box next to it where you need to enter the support key.
Zanzjan: What box?
Zanzjan: When I go to that computer and I launch Acrobat, there is no box
Zanzjan: see your own instructions here:
Zanzjan: https://helpx.adobe.com/acrobat/kb/acrobat-offline-activation.html
Zanzjan: If you look at Step 6, where it shows a box to enter the Response Code, that's the screen I need to get to.
Agent1: use this link [gives same link as above]
Zanzjan: I just gave YOU that link
Zanzjan: I need to know how to get back to the box shown in Step 6, because the system has been rebooted since I generated the Request Code
Agent1: In that case you have to do it again from the start
Zanzjan: Seriously?
Zanzjan: how do I do that, when I don't have an internet connection at home?
Zanzjan: why give the user an "activate later" option after generating the request code without having a mechanism for the user to active later?
Zanzjan: if you do not have an answer to this, can I speak to someone more technical and familiar with your product?
Agent1: Click here
Agent1: Try this link.
Zanzjan: that just generates a new response code
Zanzjan: I've already generated a response code
Zanzjan: I need to know how to enter the response code in your product
Agent1: Yes. Once you are logged out you need to follow the steps again there is no way to get back to the screen.
Zanzjan: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Zanzjan: The system that is offline is NOT online
Zanzjan: so I have to generate the code from somewhere else
Zanzjan: Please may I speak to someone more technical?
Agent1: I can get this chat transfer but this is only resolution for this.
Zanzjan: Please transfer me to someone more technical, because your solution will not work.
Zanzjan: and frankly makes no sense
Agent1: Ok. Please be online.
Zanzjan: thank you
info: Please wait while we connect you to a representative.
info: You are now chatting with Agent2.
Agent2: Hello. Welcome to Adobe Technical Support.
Zanzjan: hello
Agent2: Please allow me a moment to check with the previous conversation.
Agent2: As i can see that you are facing issue with the offline activation.
Zanzjan: yes
Zanzjan: I have followed the steps outlined here:
Zanzjan: https://helpx.adobe.com/acrobat/kb/acrobat-offline-activation.html
Agent2: Could you please tell me the exact error you are getting?
Zanzjan: I am not getting an error. I am not able to get back to the screen where I enter my Response Code.
Agent2: Okay
Agent2: Let me check once
Zanzjan: if you look at the page I linked above, I followed the steps through to generate a Request Code (Step 6)
Zanzjan: I came to work, where I have a computer with real internet, went to your website, put in my Request Code, and generated a Response Code
Zanzjan: now, I need to go back to my home computer and enter said Response Code
Zanzjan: but I cannot find a menu item to launch the license activation screen so I can enter it
Zanzjan: (see step 11)
Agent2: Okay are you able to launch the software?
Zanzjan: Yes
Zanzjan: it launches and runs fine
Zanzjan: but I haven't been able to activate the product
Agent2: Are you able to launch the Application window.
Agent2: Please go to the help menu
Zanzjan: I am not at that computer, because that computer is not online
Zanzjan: I need instructions so that when I AM at that computer again, and NOT able to contact tech support because no internet, I can activate the product
Agent2: Could you please tell me that have you the request code?
Zanzjan: I have the Request Code and the resulting Response Code
Zanzjan: I generated the Response Code on your website
Agent2: Okay
Agent2: It means that you just need the screen where you need to enter the response code.
Zanzjan: yes!
Zanzjan: How do I get to that screen?
Agent2: You can try to follow all steps again to enter the request code and the response code.
Zanzjan: then i will have a different request code, and my response code will be invalid
Zanzjan: then I'll have to bring the new request code into work, get a new response code, go home and... be right where I am now.
Zanzjan: Also, I haven't even found a way to GET back to that screen
Agent2: In that case you can try to generate a new request code and new response code for it.
Zanzjan: I can't even GET to that screen anymore to generate a new code
Zanzjan: or enter my current one
Zanzjan: that's what I've been trying to find out from you folks for the last hour
Agent2: Could you please tell me that on that computer is the internet is connected or not?
Zanzjan: NO
Zanzjan: I live in a rural place with no high speed internet
Agent2: Okay let me check
Agent2: Suzanne in that case you will need to wait for 72 hours to get the new request code.
Zanzjan: Can you please escalate me to someone technical?
Agent2: I apologize but this is the only one procedure to generate the new request code.
Zanzjan: I don't need to generate a new request code
Zanzjan: I have no confidence that you or the previous rep have any idea what my issue is.
Agent2: I can help you with the same but you will need to wait for new code if you are not on the same screen where you need to enter the response code.
Zanzjan: The screen where you generate the Request Code gives you the option to Activate Later. There is a button that says Activate Later. Now is later.
Zanzjan: I want to activate my product
Zanzjan: I have a perfectly valid Response Code to enter
Zanzjan: but I do not know how to get to the screen where I enter it
Zanzjan: and if I have to start all over again, ONE, the "Activate Later" button is the stupidest broken thing ever, and TWO I'll be right back where I am now
Zanzjan: because I can't generate my Response Code from that computer because NO INTERNET
Agent2: You have to follow all steps which you did to get the new request code and response code.
Zanzjan: so I have to come to work to generate my response code, adn then take that code back home and enter it there
Zanzjan: I can't follow ANY of the steps because there is NO WAY to get back to the License activation screen
Zanzjan: or if there is, an HOUR and TWENTY minutes of asking has not resulted in anyone telling me how to get there
Zanzjan: please escalate me to someone technical
Agent2: I apologize but we will not be able to help you with transferring this case to a more technical team as we are the same team , but the problem is with the activation screen for which you can wait to generate the new request code.
Zanzjan: That is not the problem or the answer
Agent2: You will get the screen once you will try to install the software again.
Zanzjan: I've already installed the software
Zanzjan: I am trying to activate it.
Zanzjan: I do not believe you understand my issue
Agent2: When you will try to install the software again, you will get the same option to do offline activation.
Agent2: That is the only possible option.
Zanzjan: Why would I install the software a second time>?
Zanzjan: why would that yield different results?
Zanzjan: my computer is STILL not on the internet
Agent2: Because the offline activation option comes at the time of installation and before launching the software.
Zanzjan: But it gives you an ACTIVATE LATER option
Zanzjan: how do you activate it later?
Zanzjan: It lets you generate the request code and then click ACTIVATE LATER
Agent2: you need to click on generate the request code.
Zanzjan: I DID
Zanzjan: I GENERATED THE REQUEST CODE
Zanzjan: I ENTERED THE REQUEST CODE IN YOUR WEBSITE
Zanzjan: I GOT THE RESPONSE CODE
Zanzjan: Please escalate me to actual tech support.
Agent2: Are you able to get the screen where you need to enter the response code?
Zanzjan: NO
Zanzjan: That is what I have been asking for an hour and half now: how to get to that screen. THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.
Agent2: So in this case you will need to follow these steps again with the new installation.
Agent2: This is the only option.
Zanzjan: Then why is there an activate later button?
Zanzjan: also, how will reinstalling in any way change the behavior of your software?
Agent2: the activate later is the option available to use the software for 30 days .
Zanzjan: Are you absolutely sure there is no one with any actual technical knowledge in your tech support?
Zanzjan: because you are only telling me to repeat the same steps that will lead me right back to having the exact same problem I have now.
Zanzjan: my computer is not going to magically connect to a non-existent internet if I reinstall your software
Zanzjan: so I will still need to generate the response code somewhere else
Zanzjan: so I will still need to be able to get back to the activation screen to enter it
Agent2: I can only suggest you to do the activation after sometime
Zanzjan: That makes no sense at all.
Zanzjan: I don't even know what you mean by that
Zanzjan: There is no one technical available who knows how your software actually works?
Agent2: In that i will not be able to help you as this is the only option to do the offline activation.
Zanzjan: Who can help?
Zanzjan: Who is there I can talk to who might actually understand the question I am asking?
Agent2: As there is no one available for this query as we are the right tea who can help you, but in this case you will need to do the offline activation.
Zanzjan: I am trying to do the offline activation.
Zanzjan: OK, I give up.
Zanzjan: You have been zero help, and wasted huge amounts of my time.
Agent2: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Zanzjan: I will return the software for a refund and use something that actually works
Zanzjan: No, clearly not.
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