a poem

Dec. 1st, 2009 09:37 pm
zanzjan: (snow zookie)
On the Occasion of Arriving Home to Find A Gift At My Door

Dearest Mom, O Mother of mine,
I hope that you are feeling fine.
The box you sent arrived today,
My thanks I feel I ought to say.

I think of Christmas gifts gone by:
Like too-small shoes that made me cry
Ugly sweaters that gave me pause
Deodorant 'from Santa Claus'

Make-up for the natural girl
Fruitcakes, alas, that made me hurl
Books I read back in second grade
Socks in my least favorite shade.

But this! It has a big bright bow,
And pine-cones too, all sprayed with 'snow'.
Three tall candles, in merry red,
That fit just right in their spruce bed.

It shows up at my winter door
And spreads its fresh pine scent all o'er.
For six years now, consistently,
This beauty's what you've sent to me.

But while some gifts have left me blue
(Rocks and boots will do that, true)
A sorry truth must needs be said:
These centerpieces leave me red.

O! Please don't think I mean I'm mad!
Just, this talk we've already had.
Spruce, you know, makes me itch and sneeze --
It's one of my known allergies.

So while the thought is very kind,
Pretty please, if you would not mind,
Instead of trying to kill me dead,
Can I just have some socks instead?
zanzjan: (Default)
UPS delivered a very large box onto my doorstep this evening. Examination of the return address revealed that it had been sent by my parents; this is not unexpected, as they typically ship presents out here for the holidays so they don't have to schlep them on the plane. I'm not supposed to be lifting stuff (*any* stuff) right now, but I couldn't leave the box on the porch so I very carefully heaved it in the door and left it in the middle of my dining room floor. It was, to my surprise and chagrin, stupidly and unexpectedly heavy.

Not long afterwards, my parents called to tell me a box should be arriving tomorrow. I informed them that it had already been delivered:
My mother: "You should get a box via UPS tomorrow."
Me: "It just arrived about 45 minutes ago."
My mother: "Oh, great!"
Me: "We didn't open it."
My mother: "You can if you want. We shipped you our boots so we have something to wear out there."
My father: "...and a whole bunch of rocks we want to give to our friends."

Rocks and boots. Rocks and boots! There should be a song about rocks and boots.
Rocks and boots! Rocks and boots! Only one is nice when you put 'em on your foots! Or something like that...

---
ETA: I must be really tired.

Rocks and boots! Rocks and boots!
Only one is nice when you put 'em on your foots!
Boots are for walking on the cold, cold ice,
And rocks in your stocking are oh so nice!
You can ship 'em
You can flip 'em,
When they're in a box
You can barely tip 'em.
Rocks and boots! Rocks and boots!
Nothing says "I love you" like some rocks and boots!


I know I'm gonna be adding to this in my head as the night progresses.

er?

Sep. 12th, 2007 04:47 pm
zanzjan: (Default)
Apparently elephants, particularly those in captivity, are especially prone to multi-drug-resistant tuberculosis. While horrible, the humor is here: I found this out because my father sent me an email about it with the subject-line "Be careful!"

Um... I wonder now if he has a less clear picture of what I do for a living than I had thought.
zanzjan: (Default)
Today's good news:

1) I went home at lunchtime and my parents have not yet burned down my house or broken anything. Yay!

2) My phone line is fixed, but my modem is dead (shorted completely). Good news: it's still under warranty! (Bad news: it'll be 2-3 weeks before the manufacturer gets a new one to me.)

3) Apparently (and this is what I get for not paying attention, since this came out in July) the latest Year's Best Science Fiction edited by Gardner Dozois (which looks like this, at least in paperback:)



...has the following words on the second page (page xiv in the Summary of 2006):

""Interzone, which had seemed on the brink of death just a couple of years ago, continued a strong recovery in 2006, publishing its scheduled six issues, and featuring strong fiction by Justin Stanchfield, Jamie Barras, Jay Lake, Elizabeth Bear, David Mace, Chris Beckett, Suzanne Palmer, and others. In its slick, large-size format, Interzone has also transformed itself into just about the best-looking SF magazine in the business and, in fact, one of the most handsome SF magazines ever published."

...and in the back, on page 659, in the Honorable Mentions, is the entry:

Suzanne Palmer, "Spheres", Interzone, December

Oh yeah! In the ballpark, baby! (Does the happy dance)

No idea yet which issue of Interzone Concession Girl will appear in yet, but I can only hope it is as well received.

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