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stuff out, plodding along (with angst)
Jan. 31st, 2007 11:30 pmI have a small whiteboard on the wall behind my monitor in my "home office" (read: basement). On it I have the date, a listing of each story that's out, when I sent it, where I sent it, and how many days it's been since I sent it. I realized the other night that I hadn't updated it since last May.
So I got out the whiteboard cleaner and papertowels and cleaned it up all nice and shiny and wrote down all the current information. Oddly, it makes me feel a little better to have done so. I've been extremely discouraged lately, toying idly with the idea of giving up writing (which, each time I consider it, I quickly realize would be very much like deciding not to blink anymore -- the damage I'd have to do to myself to actually stop either *wouldn't* be enjoyable). Anyhow, I'm just sort of generally feeling stupid and inarticulate and doomed. But I'm looking at my board right now and it's got a lot of stuff on it. Six things out, and they're all things I'm satisfied with, believe in, and still hope will find good homes.
I also did some writing tonight on my pirate story. Only about 600 words, but it's 600 more than I did yesterday or the day before. And although I'm not sure exactly where this story is going, some of the random stuff I dropped in so far is starting to click together very tightly, very neatly. Even the title has multiple layers of meaning and resonance that I had not realized at all when I picked it. Meanwhile, Two For The Starry Night is off to my crit group for this weekend and I'm hoping they won't declare it too broken -- I'd like to be able to have it ready to go next week sometime. If it goes out before something else comes back, I'll be tied for my record for most stuff out at once. So maybe I haven't been slacking as much as I feel like I have.
Also, the time off has been pretty good for getting Novel the Second back to a simmer in the backbrain-- it's got some serious problems, but I've pinpointed at least two changes that'll really fix a bunch of it. When I finish the current short story (it's got a deadline of the end of February), I hope to get back to N2. I've got a beginning (8k?) on Novel-That-Once-Was-A-Novella, and a throwaway chapter or two (mostly character sketches, at this point) for a very embryonic Novel The Third.
Anyhow, I'm totally rambling. It's quiet here with no one to talk to. Little Dog is having a nice dream that seems to involve chasing something, the cats are off tormenting one another, and it's getting towards midnight. Tomorrow is a chance for more words, and the sun will be up just that little bit longer that makes all the difference in the world.
So I got out the whiteboard cleaner and papertowels and cleaned it up all nice and shiny and wrote down all the current information. Oddly, it makes me feel a little better to have done so. I've been extremely discouraged lately, toying idly with the idea of giving up writing (which, each time I consider it, I quickly realize would be very much like deciding not to blink anymore -- the damage I'd have to do to myself to actually stop either *wouldn't* be enjoyable). Anyhow, I'm just sort of generally feeling stupid and inarticulate and doomed. But I'm looking at my board right now and it's got a lot of stuff on it. Six things out, and they're all things I'm satisfied with, believe in, and still hope will find good homes.
I also did some writing tonight on my pirate story. Only about 600 words, but it's 600 more than I did yesterday or the day before. And although I'm not sure exactly where this story is going, some of the random stuff I dropped in so far is starting to click together very tightly, very neatly. Even the title has multiple layers of meaning and resonance that I had not realized at all when I picked it. Meanwhile, Two For The Starry Night is off to my crit group for this weekend and I'm hoping they won't declare it too broken -- I'd like to be able to have it ready to go next week sometime. If it goes out before something else comes back, I'll be tied for my record for most stuff out at once. So maybe I haven't been slacking as much as I feel like I have.
Also, the time off has been pretty good for getting Novel the Second back to a simmer in the backbrain-- it's got some serious problems, but I've pinpointed at least two changes that'll really fix a bunch of it. When I finish the current short story (it's got a deadline of the end of February), I hope to get back to N2. I've got a beginning (8k?) on Novel-That-Once-Was-A-Novella, and a throwaway chapter or two (mostly character sketches, at this point) for a very embryonic Novel The Third.
Anyhow, I'm totally rambling. It's quiet here with no one to talk to. Little Dog is having a nice dream that seems to involve chasing something, the cats are off tormenting one another, and it's getting towards midnight. Tomorrow is a chance for more words, and the sun will be up just that little bit longer that makes all the difference in the world.
