I'm not sure if it's my hearing or my thinking

Internal Conversations with Self While Getting Up To Let The Dog Out at 4:15am When Self Only Went To Bed at 2:15am After Putting In Yet Another 10 Hour Day Working On A Very Complicated Perl Script For Work:

Coming down the stairs, Self notes that her right ear feels clogged up in a most bothersome way. It's too bad, thinks Self, that I can't just delete all ear contents with a simple command.

Self opens door for the dog, and dog disappears out into the yard to do her nefarious nighttime doggie things.

Of course, then the problem would be that you'd delete not just all your earwax, but also all the legitimate data in your ear, Self continues, wishing the dog No Skunks and closing the door again.

Self contemplates, as she walks back to the stairs and heads up towards her bedroom, how you'd have to craft your script to be able to distinguish between earwax and valuable ear data. Upon reaching the top step, Self's threshold of wakefulness crosses some critical line.

"Wait... what?" she says to the dark and quiet house.

After...

Upon rising this morning, Self made good use of a Q-tip. Although it claimed a disappointingly small quantity of earwax for the amount of bother she was experiencing, she did note with some relief that there did not appear to be any displaced ear data upon it either.

Now...

Self considers that if she could, in fact, write a script that would instantly remove earwax -- and, by simple modification (probably flags) any other type and quantity of bodily goo or detritus -- she could probably retire a very rich woman, or, given her general philosophy towards open source, at least continue on in life with the satisfaction of knowing she had done humanity -- and parents of infants and very small children in particular -- a very good turn indeed.

(no subject)

Now of course I've been thinking about earwax data all day. I'd blame it on y'all, but you know I'd be thinking about it anyway.

What if very minute quantities of your memory were actually stored in various bodygoo, like your body was using it as extra swap? Maybe the slow loss of memory as we grow older is simply the accumulated effect of removing decades of boogers and earwax. If that was proven, can you picture people's reactions on either end of the extreme? There would be those who would zealously hoard their bodygoo, trying to keep it from leaving their body, lest they lose some precious instant in time like the offkey singing of a drunken uncle at a 7th birthday party. And there would be those who would try to purge as much as they could, as fast as they could, in the hopes of ridding themselves of one self and becoming a blank slate for another. Which would also mean a really good colon-blow could be one way of being "born again".

Huh.